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The Baby Connection, Week 2: Let Them Make Mistakes

A weekly column from Vered, the "Brooklyn Baby Whisperer"

By Vered Benhorin, creator of "Baby In Tune" and contributing writer for Macaroni Kid Brooklyn NW March 16, 2022

How Your Baby Gets Smarter 

Do you know what makes your baby’s brain grow? It’s surprising. Read on…

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I’m a bit addicted to podcasts. I listen to them in the car, on a run and while cleaning the bathroom. My favorite these days is called Huberman Lab. It’s a show that teaches how our brain controls behavior and health and how we can improve upon it.

In a recent episode, he talked about what makes for brain plasticity. Meaning, what triggers the brain to change and grow.

You know what it is? It’s not reading something, meditating, or doing something consistently. 

It’s MAKING MISTAKES.

 

Today I want to encourage you to let your baby make mistakes, and for YOU to make mistakes. Not only that, I want you to make plenty of mistakes in front of your baby.

Huberman says that “errors are how our nervous system is cued…that something isn’t going right, and therefore certain neurochemicals are deployed that signal the neural circuits that they have to change.”

Basically, making mistakes sends a signal to our nervous system that something isn’t working and needs to CHANGE. And it does!!

 

Why is this important for us as parents? For two reasons:

First of all, because your baby is going to make millions of mistakes along the way. Every time they learn something new it will come with some mistakes. And you, my friend, may want to help them out so they avoid the mistake you see coming.

I’m here to say – DON’T. Let them make mistakes. They need to for their neural growth.

The second reason is that as you know your baby is constantly watching YOU. So just as important as letting your baby make mistakes is letting yourself make mistakes. Not only that, I want to encourage you to do it in front of them.

The thing is, humans don’t like feeling frustration. But the ones who learn persevere to through challenges do very well. It’s what psychologists call Grit.

Your baby is actually born with much more frustration tolerance than you are. They don’t have years of judgment piled on. Most of the time, they are quite willing to try something over and over. Then they may take a break, and then go back to it.

It’s US who often find it hard to tolerate. 

Here are a few scenarios for you to take into your week:

  1. Your baby is trying to get up on their knees but they keep falling.
    Your baby’s brain is growing!
  2. Your baby is trying to turn pages in their board book but they can only do two or three at a time and they keep trying.
    Their brain is growing!
  3. Your baby is trying to learn how to stand but keeps falling down.
    Their brain is growing!
  4. Your baby keeps trying to put the circle toy into the square spot.
    Their brain is growing!
  5. Your baby is trying to bring the spoon to their mouth but the food ends up on the table.
    Their brain is growing!

 

This week, dear Tunie, see if you can change your perspective on your baby’s and your own mistakes. See them as GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES instead of failures.

Want more inspiration for letting your baby try and try again? Check out this blog post.

What mistakes can you celebrate your baby doing this week? Email me and let us know.


The Baby Connection archive
DrummingBaby BuddhaMusic Activities • Ball PlayMaking Mistakes



To find out more about Vered and Baby in Tune, visit babyintune.com
find her music on Spotify at Vered, or follow her on Instagram @Babyintune.






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