Making space for creativity after parenthood

I’ve written songs my whole life. I was never one to write in a journal. It was always about the songs. 

In grade school, I went on so long with a performance of my originals, that a teacher had to gently lean over the piano and give me the hook. (Right here in Brooklyn at PS 321!) I then spent my 20s and early 30s playing in bands, doing some light touring, putting out a few records, and teaching music. It was a rich patchwork of jobs I loved, with space for music and creativity. It was busy, but only in that "you have to eat lunch on the train" sort of way.

At 36, I became a mom and fell off a cliff. I couldn’t believe the job description. Make a human that you care about more than any other human, and with the least sleep you have ever had in your life, try to keep them alive. The person I once was left the building. 

I loved being a mom, but I struggled with the complete lack of self. For the next few years, I didn't touch a guitar, let alone remember I had one. This was particularly strange given that at this point I owned music school Brooklyn Music Factory where I was dedicated to fostering others' musical creativity. I clocked it as something I no longer did personally. I had gone through the portal of parenthood and there was no going back.

When the pandemic happened, like all locked-in parents, I searched for a morsel of space that I could call my own. We had a small home music studio setup, but it was more of a place I went to secretly eat a bowl of ice cream.

In an act of desperation, I eventually found a sliver of time after my kids went to bed, to start to make music again. At first it felt like when you reach out to touch something to see if it’s really hot. The motor memory slowly returned. To my surprise, I not only remembered how to do it, but something about the butt-kicking nature of motherhood, owning a business, and the combination of the two, had evolved me into a better, more courageous songwriter and musician. The songs just started falling out of me, and the next thing I knew I had a record!

Now I can’t remember how I survived without those creative hours after dark. It’s not like I’m going deep into the night. But a few times a week I take an hour or two after work is done and the the kids are in bed, to write and record whatever it is I want. It’s freeing and therapeutic, and makes me a better mom, wife, business owner, and all around person the next day.

So I guess I’m writing this to get the word out to other moms on what I’ve discovered. There is a way to find that creative part of yourself amidst parenthood, work, and all the things. Whether it’s something that you used to do, or something you’ve always wanted to do, or something that just feels good in the moment, I highly recommend making space for it after dark.

I’ve got a new EP out, one made entirely after bedtime, and I’m psyched to share it. Think female-fronted, 90s-influenced, shoegazey rock. I hope you enjoy listening! I sure enjoyed making it. You can find “Futures" by Peira starting February 6th wherever you stream your music.